I’ve recently just talked with a friend and here’s what we think why people get into relationships.

There are three reasons why someone invests a great deal in a relationship: love, sex, and other purpose. The greatest of which is of course love. The easiest is sex. That’s basically what you need to know about them.

The fun part is discussing the third one; other purpose. The purpose varies depending on the individual’s needs and personality. The most popular “need” I can think of is opportunity to acquire more wealth. It’s so popular jokes have been created around them. I’m sure you know what the 4 M’s stand for when looking for “the perfect mate.” I’ve heard this joke since grade school. The process of getting that “wealth” ranges all the colors of the spectrum depending on the personality of the person. (Insert your craziest imagination here.)

Sometimes sex and/or love become the third reason. When people use sex as the third reason, the relationship dies quickly. This is the usual cause of heartbreaks especially when the other party uses love as his third reason.

Then, things can get really complicated. People start to add a third party or, people display love-like actions that can be so complex the other party think they’re sincere acts. The list goes on. Layers and layers of situations intertwine. Individuals get lost. Then, all of a sudden people are singing the Gloria Gaynor song.

The moral of the story is always chose what’s best for you. Accept the fact that, even before we decide to enter a relationship, we will learn something out of this and the teacher is the other party. Finally don’t be afraid to learn. In the long run, we always end up wiser than before.

WE NEED HELP!!!

We have world standard actors as you already know. Our directors, both past and current are competitively creative in their craft. But, I’m desperately hoping to high heavens that I’m not the only one who notices something horribly wrong about our screenplays. Sometimes I can’t help but to feel embarrassed for these talents for the unjustifiable characters in the equally defunct screenplays they agree to perform in simply because they need to work.. Something MUST to be done SOON.

I don’t even want to talk about pretty faces with absolutely no talent whatsoever winning God-knows-what kind of so-called “talent search.” PUHHLEASE!!!

How about screenplay competition/workshops for shortfilms, sitcoms, whatever! You know? OR…maybe…Philippine Mobile Phone Short Film Awards or something. Oh! And remove film ratings already or at least the controversiality surrounding it. Anything!

All I’m saying is WE NEED A CHANGE. We need a change not only because of this overly obsolete system (call it whatever you wish) of writing screenplays in our culture is like tumor to a human being in our family, but also we have all the potentials to do the change we need.

I’ve seen commercials that are completely Filipino and they have successfully put the clear message across and it’s amazing! I so love the Jollibee commercial where the mom and the son is praying and both of their prayers were answered. Amazing!

Let’s start small. Baby steps. We’ll get there.

That's That

There are a lot of funny things about Filipinos. One I get a kick out of is whenever we become defensive when a chord gets strongly struck even if it’s completely unintentional. When explicated, we get unnecessarily offensive. I sometimes see these comical happenings among politicians and celebrities on national TV. I for one think it’s always better than any Filipino sitcom ever written. Then, if that is not yet enough, they take it to the next level and make it personal. By now, my reactions would equal the experience of accidentally running into an elderly office mate wearing his birthday suit. Until I realize they’re running our country.

Love in relationships is so overrated it makes me puke. We even get the most iniquitous information about it from almost everywhere: media, culture, parenting, you name it. Yet, we delve into it anyway. Some even wallow. As a result, people go on “a search for true love.” Thus, complications occur.

I hate preventable complications in any form. Maybe it’s just me but why go through all the drama when, bottom line is, it’s how you look at things. So believe me when I tell you dramas and complications are total waste of time and energy.

Love in relationship IS possible. Here’s the secret. There should always be respect, trust and communication. Take away one; it’s not love. If it’s not love, things can be pretty complicated. If it does, simply make a decision in your current situation. This is crucial in a relationship because this is the point where you might discover you’re the only one in the partnership who’s looking for love. If you do find out, then make a decision; you either play the game or you don’t OR you can play the game first then find love later. Just be ready for the consequences.

How do you go about having love in a relationship? It all begins with knowing who you are. Knowing who you are simply means knowing what makes you happy and defining between what you really need and what you want. You got to have the courage to decide which route to take. But then again there really isn’t any wrong decision because the worst case scenario is that you’ll learn something out of it. Uhm…I stand corrected. The worst case scenario is you didn’t learn what you were supposed to learn so it will be taught to you over and over until you do learn (or until you die, which ever comes first). After you make a decision, stick to it. But, be open for better options. There will always be options. It’s just a matter of making a decision. Once you establish your decision and you’ve learned to commit yourself to it, self-respect flows naturally in your system.

Now, self-respect I believe is probably THE most important possession any human being can ever have. It sets your limitations and allows you to be free at the same time. It acts as your guide on almost any relationships including social and professional. I firmly believe that people will never respect you more than you respect yourself. So, the higher your self-respect, the higher respect you get from people.

Trust simply means honesty. You’ve got to learn to be honest with yourself all the time. Sometimes it’s a difficult process but it’s always a constant course in life. This is necessary for us to know who we are. It’s difficult because, as they say, “Truth hurts.” Well, true to a certain extent however, if we can’t be honest with ourselves, who are we fooling?

Communication is as important simply because this is how we take the strong energy of trust and respect in motion within our selves and all around us. It is important that someone knows who we are, what we need, and what we don’t want.

Now, take all this together. Incorporate it in a relationship. Voila! You’ll find what you’re looking for. Simple isn’t it?

GO FIGURE! / NEED I SAY MORE?

*I woke up one morning with the person next to me surfing Regine Velasquez songs!

*We went to a popular hotel and ordered a pizza. The pizza’s topping we chose was “magarita.” The waiter apologized later on for misprint of the ingredients in the menu!

*I have a 27 year old friend who literally knows trivia questions on beauty pageants including the shortest Ms. Universe who ever won the crown!

*Ara Mina is going to have a concert abroad in mid-September and one ticket cost approximately P3400. That already includes dinner.

*There’s going to be an Ocean’s 13 and they’re adding Al Pacino to the group!

*The person lying next to me this morning asked me which Regine song I’d like to listen to!

*You know American Idol right? Well…there’s an Australian Idol!

*Captain Inggo!

*My mother cooked pork blood stew for dinner twice in one week!

*I watched a shortfilm that had a climax punchline, “My baby looks like your boss, honey.”

*There’s a Rolls Royce parked outside the apartment building across ours. It’s been there for over a week!

*I met a 6’ Caucasian at a cocktail party who kept on pinching my bum and after the 6th cocktail I was starting to like it knowing that 6 was never my lucky number!

*The person lying next to me this morning started singing with the Regine V. songs!

“I come out of your bathroom door. Hair all wet, ...wearing just the towel and a sexy smile. …sharp eyes staring back at you. I lean against the door, playing with towel as I go down on all fours slowly.

I crawl on all fours. …still wearing that sexy smile.

You’re waiting on the edge of your bed.

As I reach your foot, I go down to lick your toe. …sucking, …licking. Suckling each little piggy, …even licking between the little piggies. Mmmmmm….

I lick my way up your leg. Sharp eyes lookin up at you. Still wearing the towel and that sexy smile. I let my towel drop to the floor along with all my inhibitions as I lick up your leg. …one …long …hard LICK. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM…

I use my tongue to tease the back of your knee. I can hear you moan. Then, I decided to alternately bite and kiss your inner thigh ever so lightly. I love hearing your moans. I surprise you every now and then biting you harder than you expect then kissing you lighter than you expect.

I start feeling the heat all over my body. …doubled by the heat emanating from yours. I use my hands to caress your body. I rub them along your sides and thighs as I look at your facial expressions. Enjoying what I see I go down to kiss your chest. …your stomach. …kissing lightly …sometimes softly …sometimes hard ...using my tongue liberally.

I look up at you. …eyes hazy with desire. You bend over slightly forward to kiss me.
I slowly arch my neck to meet your waiting lips. Time seems to stop and it feels like I’ve been waiting forever for your lips. I felt your breath and I realize your lips is an inch away from mine. I take my hands away from your body as I kiss you. I stand up slowly never leaving your lips. A thought came to me and I pushed you hard on the bed.

I smile over you as you lie down on the bed spread-eagled but with your feet still down on the floor.

My imagination is running wild now…

Wait until I get on top of you...”

I like to make up erotic stories.

I never require people to be someone their not. In fact, I get the best lessons and experiences from people who have realized who they are and not afraid to show it.

But here’s what strike me most of all; people are always worried of what other people think about who they really are. So, they opt to pretend to be someone else. I know I should be getting used to it by now but when a friend asks you for advice…uhhhh! Nothing new yet we never learn. Some people can actually take this beyond habit and even, to malignant heights!

So, what do I tell these friends, you may ask. Well…it depends. I usually categorize their situation and personality. For milder cases I tell them not to think so much about it and remind themselves what their priorities are. For “common” cases I ask them what makes them happy and follow what their heart is telling them. For some-of-the-worst cases I tell them to take a breather, do something completely different, and assure them that I’m here if anyone needs someone who can listen to them. If that doesn’t work I’d ask them to see a doctor immediately.

Notice the cycle? I dare not call it life like what most people say it is. It’s not natural at all. But it is essential…I think.

I remember admirers and ex’s (including the current one) telling me, “I find it difficult to cause you trouble because you’re one of them ‘kind’ people.” I always tell them I can be bad too when asked nicely and give them a ‘kind,’ sincere smile. And I mean it. Everytime. I get facial expression fit for a KODAK commercial after that.

I remember an ex who took that statement seriously and asked me to be “bad.” It turned out to be one of my most unforgettable sexual experiences. Three of my ultimate sexual fantasies were realized. We kept doin it ‘til it wasn’t a fantasy no more. Still the sex was so hot I fantasized about it months after the relationship ended. I’m lookin’ forward to the next person to ask me to be bad, nicely.