Marl on Friendship

I wanna tell you great things about my circle of friends. I always acknowledge their profound influence on me wherever I go or whoever I’m with. Like all great friendships, we complement each others strengths and weaknesses. What sets us apart is we allow ourselves to be who we are and who we want to be without bias or judgment. We support each others’ decisions. Furthermore, if we make a wrong decision, we’re there to support each other fully. Again, without bias or judgment. This relationship allows us to grow positively as an individual without feeling neglected or restricted. It also revolutionized our own individual thinking of what we need to decide on in our own personal lives.

We have been blessed with each others company for almost 15 years now. There are times when we don’t see each other for over a year but when we finally see each other, it’s as if we just saw each other last week. Most often than not I feel that their arms are my home. Yet, it does not hurt to be away from them because they’re in my heart. How could they not be? They bring sense into me. I lose count of all the times people are amazed how I can be so sensible in such a messed-up world. Each time it happens my heart skips a beat because they’re smiling in my heart; not to remind me but because they are a part of me.

We are a group of gay and straight guys dominated (in number) by strong independent women. All of us are single. All of us are beautiful. We have the best of times. We have closed many a number of coffee shops, cafes and restaurants. We laugh and cry in them like we’re in one of our friends’ living rooms. We talk about sex, politics, people, places, events, love, injustice, stupidity, hope, career, future, parenting, children, life, education, entertainment, the arts, food, relationships, achievements, fashion, ourselves, what-ifs, dreams, death, traveling, humor, men, women, technology, culture, shopping, sports, medicine, health, beauty, diets, fitness, books, God, religion, and nature. Just to name a few!

This post is not a tribute to them or anything like that. I don’t believe in tributes and celebrations. I don’t need a reason to buy someone a gift or wait for the right moment to appreciate someone. This post is like any other post in my blog. I talk about things of who I am. I talk about positive things that could probably shed a light to someone or share the same light with someone.

Blog is a good thing. It’s a chance to tell the rest of the world that I live. Or at least, I exist. I simply could not tell the world who I am without mentioning what my circle of friends is to me, who we are to each other and what we are to one another.

JUDGMENTAL ME

I know a 7 year-old girl who, when she plays with her friends, hates being the it. Whenever she becomes one she pouts, complains and sometimes even cry and hurt her playmates simply to avoid being the it. She even threatens her playmates to tell on them, breaking their bond of secrets just to get what she wants.

…Yet I know a 13 year old kid who thinks he’s tough. He doesn’t perform very well in the classroom but he’s the king of the playground. He never gets laughed at in the classroom during embarrassing situations because if you do, chances are, recess won’t be your favorite time of the day.

…Still I know a 27 year old man who creates illusions of what he calls glamour and beauty and calls himself a beauty queen; his actions – “fabulous.” He wants people to admire his new dress or his new shoes. He finds answers in life’s most difficult situations in a shopping mall.

…Still I know a successful 39 year old man who makes jokes at other people’s expense. He loves organizing small parties and little get-togethers. He is very smart and very funny. He has a list of one-liners conveniently tucked in his memory which he pulls out anytime he sees someone he knows. He uses them anytime any place at almost any given situation. He simply adores the feedback he gets from the laughter of the crowd at his keen observations. He enjoys it so much, it’s his second nature. For him, it works in any kind of small social gathering. He has people whom he calls friends which he makes fun of, nonetheless.

…Then I know a very good-looking 50-year-old man who never got married and lives alone. He has a moderately high paying job. He lives in a nice two-bedroom apartment overlooking the sea. The apartment is in a record book for being the cleanest, most organized apartment in the world. He’s current relationship is with someone old enough to be his youngest child; if he ever had one. He finds relaxation in sex; but not necessarily with his current relationship. He relinquishes smoking and alcohol almost everyday. He seems happy.

...Then I know a 65 year old widow and a mother of five. She runs her own business. She wakes up at 6 in the morning and goes to work before 9. She goes home at 9:30pm. She does it 6 times a week. She never misses a Sunday mass as much as she never misses any of her children. Her hands are simply too full.

…and life goes on.

FICTION

Here’s something new I want to share with you. You’re gonna hate me for this but I’ll take the risk. You’re gonna hate me because it’s about love. I’ll take the risk because it’s something totally new for me. Here goes…

Starting today, I’m going to learn to love someone less. It’s difficult for me because getting there is hard enough. Maintaining the love is the most difficult, or so I thought; until I decided to start loving less.

Corny? Yeah. Shallow? Maybe. Passe? Probably. Difficult? Definitely.

You have to understand. I love and respect myself before anything else. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. I learned from an early age that the only person you’ll spend the rest of your life with from birth to your last breath is yourself. So, if you can’t be happy with yourself, who will? And the only way to be happy with yourself is to know who you are, respect what you are, and learn to love yourself more as you go through life’s challenges.

It feels great when you’ve achieved self-realization. It’s one of the greatest things in the world. All you feel everyday you wake up until you retire to bed at night is contentment and gratitude. The only thing left for you to do is to share the richness that you feel you have. Only then can you give great love. Maintaining this love to someone you love more than he love himself makes an even greater challenge.

Which brings us back to loving less; it’s difficult for me because I question myself. I used to think that love is love; nothing more or less. At this moment, as I am writing this, if I chose to love less, does that mean it’s not love anymore?

I know what love is but what does loving less exactly mean? Is loving less really love in the first place? Is it possible to acclimate your love to the person you’re currently loving? Half hopingly I’d learn what this is as I write and as I consciously decide to do this. Half hopingly I’m excited because I can feel it in the core of my being that this is going to be my next big lesson in life.

Although I have very high standards I do not expect. Expectations lead to disappointment most often than not. But, I have to learn to draw the line. Drawing the line for me means not compromising my love and respect for my self in exchange for mere words that doesn’t substantiate the actions of the one I love.

So…

Corny? Not. Shallow? Not. Passe? Never. Difficult? Definitely.

Friends: I heed your comments and feedback. Please enlighten me.
Thank you.

ICE MELTS

Friends,
Readers,
& Fellow Bloggers,

I address this entry for you today because you have given me appreciation for my writing beyond what I have expected. I enjoy writing but I plan to take a long break due to unbecoming circumstances. Although I have written two entries prior to this, I can not find it in myself to post them.

To Bryan, thanks for introducing me to the world of blog and most especially to Momel.

To my favorite blogmate Momel, your words have depth and sometimes inspiring. It would be such a joy for me to meet you one day.

Next time…

Keep blogging!

Marl

mayeyewach@yahoo.com